Post-Event Reflection for Athletes: Parent’s Guide

As a parent of a young athlete, you naturally want to support your child after every game, meet, or competition. But knowing what to say and when to say it can be tricky. Do you jump in with advice? Focus on what went wrong? Celebrate the good, even if they’re upset? 

That’s where the Post-Event Reflection (PER) Exercise comes in. Developed by mental performance coaches, this simple and effective tool helps athletes process what happened, learn from the experience, and build confidence, win or lose. And as a parent, you can help guide this process in a way that supports your athlete’s development of a growth mindset. 

What Is the PER Exercise? 

The Post-Event Reflection is 3-step process athletes use after a competition to review their performance with a growth mindset. It encourages them to take ownership, reflect honestly, and move forward with intention. Instead of focusing on results alone (like the score or the stat sheet), the PER exercise focuses on effort, mindset, and learning. Factors the athlete can control and build on. 

Why It’s Important for Your Athlete 

Reflection is a key skill for high-performing athletes. It teaches: 

• Self-awareness: Recognizing what they did well and what they can improve. 

• Emotional regulation: Processing highs and lows without spiraling into frustration or self-doubt. 

• Confidence building: Identifying strengths and wins, even in tough games. 

The PER exercise helps athletes let go of outcomes they can’t change and focus on growth. It’s one of the most powerful tools in a mental performance coach’s toolbox and with your support, it can become part of your child’s routine. The 3 Steps of the PER Exercise You can guide your athlete through this simple reflection right after a game, during the car ride home, or later that day when emotions have settled. 

1. What Went Well? Start with the positive. Ask: 

• “What are you proud of from today’s performance?” 

• “What did you do better than last time?” 

This helps reinforce effort, progress, and self-belief—even if the result wasn’t ideal. 

2. What Can I Learn? Now shift to reflection. Ask: 

• “What’s one thing you learned today?” 

• “Is there anything you’d do differently next time?” 

This helps your athlete view mistakes as feedback instead of failure and reminds them that improvement is always possible. 

3. What’s Next? End with forward momentum. Ask: 

• “What’s one thing you want to work on before your next game?” 

• “What’s your focus for the next practice?” 

This gives your child a sense of control and purpose moving forward. 

Tips for Parents 

• Be a listener first: Let your athlete lead the reflection. Your role is to create a safe space, not to correct or coach. 

• Avoid rushing the process: Give them time to cool down emotionally, especially after a tough performance. 

• Use the same questions consistently: Repeating this process helps athletes build a healthy habit of self-evaluation. 

The Bottom Line The Post-Event Reflection exercise helps young athletes become stronger from the inside out. By guiding them through a simple process of reflection, you’re not just supporting their athletic performance; you’re teaching them life skills like resilience, emotional awareness, and goal setting. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about learning, growing, and showing up better next time. And with your support, your athlete will do just that.