How to Raise Youth Athletes Who Lead Themselves First
Whether it’s showing up early for practice or helping a teammate bounce back from a tough loss, the best young athletes aren’t just great players—they’re great leaders with high character.
But leadership isn’t just about giving pep talks or being the loudest voice in the huddle. It’s how athletes carry themselves when no one is watching. The daily choices they make when there’s no scoreboard and the spotlight is not on them.
True leadership is steady, intentional and thoughtful. And it’s built—choice by choice—over time.
As a parent, you can be the most impactful figure to help these principles take root. And at IMG Academy +, we believe leadership can be taught. That’s why we use research-backed frameworks to help student athletes turn leadership from an idea into a habit. Through practice, leadership becomes a way of life.
The Power of Personal Leadership Principles
One of the most effective ways to help athletes become steady, trustworthy leaders is to empower them to define their own set of personal leadership principles—short, clear “I” statements that guide how they want to show up every day.
These principles aren’t just motivational quotes or generic values. They’re specific commitments an athlete makes to themselves. Here are a few examples:
“I show up prepared and early.”
“I make teammates feel seen.”
“I choose structure and focus, even when it’s hard.”
“I speak up when others stay silent.”
“I take responsibility without excuses.”
When written down, revisited, and lived out consistently, these principles become a compass. They give athletes something to return to when adversity hits, pressure mounts, when mistakes happen, or when motivation runs low.
Why It Matters
Leadership on the field translates to life off of it. Athletes who know how to lead themselves first—and then lift others—are better prepared for relationships, school, and a future of flourishing.
By helping your athlete define their values and turn them into daily actions, you’re giving them more than a motivational boost. You’re helping them build identity, accountability, and character.
How You Can Support Leadership at Home
Even if your athlete hasn’t fully defined their leadership principles yet, you can start reinforcing the mindset today. Here are a few simple ways:
1. Start a Conversation About Consistency
Ask your athlete, “What kind of teammate do you want to be known as?” or “How do you want coaches to describe you when you’re not in the room?” That reflection can lead to clarity, and clarity leads to action. Your question could be rhetorical, meaning that they do not have to answer it out loud. The goal is to get them to engage in honest self-reflection.
2. Affirm the Strength of Quiet Leadership When You See It
Not every leadership moment is loud. Celebrate the small stuff: cleaning up after practice, calming down after a bad call, checking in on a struggling teammate. That’s what leadership actually looks like.
3. Reinforce Leadership as a Daily Practice
Remind your athlete that character isn’t something they turn on for big games. It’s something they build through healthy habits—especially when no one’s watching. Ask your athlete how they plan to show up as a leader in everything they do, especially on the tough days.
4. Encourage Service as Part of Leadership
True leadership includes others. Challenge your athlete to adopt a mindset of lifting others—through encouragement, accountability, or action. One principle we love is: “I look for ways to serve before I’m asked.”
The Bottom Line
Leadership can be learned. It’s not reserved for captains or superstars. With clear principles and steady support, every athlete can become the kind of leader others trust—on their team and throughout their life.
By taking the time to ask about your athlete’s key principles, reflect on your own, and affirm small daily actions, you’re doing something powerful: helping your child grow into a person who leads with clarity, character, and consistency.
And that’s a win that lasts far beyond the scoreboard, and the recipe for a flourishing life.
Dr. Pete Paciorek, Ed.D., is the Head of Leadership & Character Development at IMG Academy, the world leader in sports education. He is passionate about supporting students, athletes, educators, coaches, and parents in effective long-term pedagogy to cultivate positive youth development. At IMG Academy, Dr. Paciorek is responsible for designing and leading character development programs that help students form well-rounded identities, overcome challenges, uplift one another and their communities, and achieve success both on and off the field. He works closely with all middle-school and high-school students at the academy, as well as with students in every grade during IMG Academy’s sports training camps, and with other coaches and educators in the development of IMG Academy pedagogy.
Coming from a family of 11 professional athletes, Dr. Paciorek had a ten-year career in professional baseball with the Los Angeles Dodgers and San Diego Padres organizations. Following his passion for supporting student-athletes, he earned an Ed.D. in Character Education from the University of Missouri at St. Louis; he also has an MS in Sport Management and MA in Organizational Leadership. He is the author of the book Character Loves Company, a longtime volunteer for the Special Olympics, and the founder of the nonprofit organization Character Loves Company, Inc. Additionally, Dr. Paciorek has given hundreds of presentations to schools and community centers about the need to emphasize character development in education and sports.
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